top of page

How do you deal with rejection and move on?

The subject of today's article is one that not everyone talks about, but which is part of life's processes. To a greater or lesser extent, everyone has felt rejected or been afraid of rejection.

Whether it's in everyday situations, when you're not invited to a party or when you don't feel welcomed by one of your loved ones, whether it's family, love or a circle of friends, you name it. In the text, I want to point out that it is possible to work on this feeling, which often becomes a wound of rejection, so that you can enjoy a fuller life and well-being.

Rejection is a feeling that occurs when someone is not accepted, not chosen or not welcome in a certain situation. It can be a painful feeling that affects self-esteem and confidence. But as I said, we need to understand that rejection is part of life and we've all experienced it at some point.

There are different forms of rejection. For example, someone applied for a job and wasn't selected. This can lead to a feeling of rejection.

Or even when you get close to someone you like, but they don't reciprocate your feelings. This can also cause rejection.

In other words, it is present in various areas of life: social, professional, emotional and family.

In life, when we don't develop a broader, higher consciousness, it's common to be directed by feelings. The point is not to feel, but to be directed by feelings, by the exterior and not by our interior.

You see, when we develop emotional intelligence, self-knowledge, we understand that each person has their own preferences and reasons for their choices and that's okay, because we won't always be chosen or accepted in every situation.

I believe that each person offers the other what they have, so rejection, fear cannot define who we are and that doesn't mean we don't have value.

Without losing sight of the fact that rejection is a painful feeling that arises when we feel excluded, ignored or not valued by others. But it's worth pointing out that rejection can be real or imaginary, in other words, it's not always something objective, but rather an interpretation we make based on our emotions and past experiences.

There is a phrase attributed to the Chinese thinker Confucius (552 BC) that says:

"Demand a lot of yourself and expect little of others. That way, you'll avoid a lot of hassle."

I'm a Jungian analyst and from the perspective of analytical psychology, this phrase can help us think about our essence (our self).

Demand a lot of yourself and expect little of others. That way, you'll avoid a lot of hassle.

It's a simple and clear phrase that points to demanding a lot of ourselves and expecting little of others.

This doesn't mean that we should become perfectionists or selfish, but rather that we should place the responsibility for our actions and expectations on ourselves, rather than projecting them onto others.

When we demand a lot of ourselves, we are strengthening ourselves emotionally and developing skills to deal with challenges and difficulties. This gives us a sense of autonomy. On the other hand, when we expect little of others, we are avoiding creating excessive expectations, which can lead to many disappointments and annoyances.

Without losing sight of the fact that each person has their own pace and their own abilities. Not everyone has the same skills or commitment as us.

Therefore, by expecting little of others, we save ourselves unnecessary frustration and resentment. This doesn't mean that we should accept any behavior, but rather that we should understand that everyone has their limitations.

However, we must be careful not to fall into extremes. Demanding too much of yourself shouldn't become a rigid, perfectionist attitude, and expecting too little of others shouldn't lead us to accept abuse or disrespect.

We need to find a healthy balance between these attitudes, valuing our own potential and setting appropriate limits in interpersonal relationships.

In other words, understanding our own responsibilities and limitations, as well as those of others, allows us to create healthier relationships and avoid unnecessary stress.

One of the ways to deal with this feeling is to recognize and RESSIGNIFY rejection:

When someone denies your idea or doesn't want your company, it doesn't mean you're incompetent, move on in peace. Talk it over, and if it doesn't resolve the situation, walk away in peace.

Another way to deal with rejection is to CHANGE your perspective: Stop focusing on the problem, the feeling, focus on the solution.

Think carefully, meditate, ask your inner wisdom, your I Am.

PRACTICE self-love: See how many situations you've overcome, take more care of yourself, think about the person you are today and the things you can improve and adjust. I know it's hard to open up to the world after being rejected, but allow yourself to live.

You move forward.

Make peace with yourself, forgive your past self, until now it may have been one way, but today you are aware that it can be different. And of course, seek professional support. It's great to talk to friends and family, but specialized professionals can help you deal with feelings of rejection.

It's important to share what you're feeling and receive words of encouragement and support.

Here are some steps to help you deal with rejection:

1. Recognize and accept your feelings: It's normal to feel sad, frustrated or hurt when you're rejected. Allow yourself to feel these emotions, but remember that they don't define who you are.

2. Don't take it personally: Rejection isn't always about you. People often have their own reasons and preferences for their choices. Don't blame or belittle yourself for not being chosen.

3. Learn from the experience: Every rejection can be an opportunity for growth. Reflect on what happened and identify possible areas for improvement. Use this knowledge to improve yourself and become a better person.

4. Surround yourself with emotional support: Seek support from friends, family or specialized professionals. Having a safe space to share your feelings and receive encouragement can make all the difference in overcoming rejection.

5. Focus on your qualities and achievements: Remember all the positive things you have. Make a list of your qualities, skills and achievements. Value yourself and remember that rejection does not define your worth as a person.

6. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding: Don't punish yourself for being rejected. Instead, practice self-compassion, understanding that everyone faces rejection at some point.

7. Challenge your negative thoughts: The fear of being rejected can create negative and limiting thoughts. Identify these thoughts and question their validity. Replace them with positive and realistic thoughts.

8. Face your fears gradually: If the fear of being rejected prevents you from taking risks, start by facing it gradually. Take small actions that challenge you and help you overcome your fear little by little.

9. Keep busy and involved in activities that are good for you: Focusing on other areas of your life, such as hobbies, work or studies, can help distract your mind from rejection and keep you positive and motivated.

10. Believe in yourself and your ability to overcome rejection: Have confidence in your abilities and your potential. Believe that you are capable of overcoming rejection and moving on to build a full and happy life.

Know that overcoming rejection is a gradual and individual process. You are capable of overcoming rejection and achieving a full and happy life.

This theme is worked on in the meetings of my Growth Group, which is a life review work that I have been doing for years, since my master's degree in Mexico, in every corner of Brazil. A new class will soon be opening here in Rio de Janeiro, so if you're interested in taking part, send me a direct message on Instagram @nucleoreginanohra for more information.


bottom of page