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The influence of family on relationships



We know that our family plays a very important role in our lives and in the relationships we build over time.

If we stop to think about it, the way we were brought up and the values we learned at home can strongly influence the way we relate to others.


Family teaches us many things, such as what is right and wrong, how to communicate and how to express our emotions. These lessons can have a direct impact on our romantic relationships and friendships.


For example, if we grow up in a family where dialogue is encouraged and problems are solved in a loving way, we are likely to take these behaviors into our relationships.


On the other hand, if we are exposed to a dysfunctional family dynamic, where communication is difficult, where conflicts are poorly resolved, we may find it difficult to express our feelings, our emotions, our attitudes and behaviors, because they will present difficulties and problems in our relationships in the various areas of our lives!


Principles and values are passed on in the family, which is the first social interaction we have. If we were brought up in a family that values loyalty, respect and commitment, we are likely to look for these qualities in our relationships.


Likewise, if we have seen toxic or abusive relationships in our family, we may run the risk of repeating these patterns that are so damaging.


We can learn from negative experiences and seek out healthier relationships. In addition, it is possible to develop communication and conflict resolution skills, even if we didn't learn them at home.


Lessons and examples can shape our attitudes, values and choices. However, we CAN grow and create healthy relationships, even if we have faced challenges in our family history.


According to Hellinger, there are three fundamental laws that guide the family system:


Balance - give and take (compensatory system)


Belonging - established by the bond, you belong or you don't Hierarchy - established by the order of arrival Bert Hellinger was a psychotherapist known for his work with family constellations.


Hellinger was also a Catholic priest and worked for 16 years as a missionary in South Africa.


After years of dedication to a religious life, Hellinger devoted himself to studies in areas such as psychoanalysis, family therapy, hypnosis, hypnotherapy and transactional analysis. And he built the SYSTEMIC FAMILY CONSTELLATION, becoming a pioneer in the field.


Hellinger believed that the family plays a fundamental role in shaping who we are and how we relate to each other.


During our childhood and adolescence, we absorb the behaviors and beliefs of family members, which helps shape our perspectives on relationships. These values can manifest themselves in different ways in the various types of relationships we establish.


In friendship relationships, family also plays a role in how we connect with others. If we have been encouraged to be friendly, empathetic and supportive in our family, we are more likely to cultivate healthy and lasting friendships.


On the other hand, if we grew up in a family environment where distrust and competition were prevalent, we may find it difficult to establish secure and trusting bonds with each other.

with each other.


Furthermore, the influence of family extends to professional relationships. The values transmitted at home can influence the way we behave in the workplace. For example, if we have been taught to be ethical, responsible and hardworking, we are more likely to carry these values into our careers.


Similarly, if we grow up in an environment where the family values success at any cost, we can adopt a competitive and individualistic mentality in our work.


According to Hellinger, there are hidden dynamics and invisible loyalties that operate within families and can affect relationships in profound ways. He argued that family members are influenced by past events, such as traumas, family secrets and exclusions, even if they are not aware of these influences.


For example, imagine a person who is in a troubled love relationship, with constant difficulties in communication and intimacy. In family constellations, it can be identified that the person is repeating relationship patterns that were experienced by their parents or grandparents.


You may be identified with one of the family members and start repeating the pattern.

My Instagram @nucleoreginanohra has a full live on this topic. I suggest you watch it.


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